Dating: An Intercultural Experience

Dating: a magic word; a confusing concept; can bring out the best, worst and the most awkward sides of us. It’s even more confusing here as a Peace Corps volunteer living in a different country. I admit, at home, I did not have much success dating. I tried online dating which left me more disappointed with men than before. I have a friend who met her now-fiancé at a bar...we went on a double date with one of his friends….it didn’t work out as well for me. At home we go out, we go online, we join teams, gyms, clubs, social groups, we dress nicely to go food shopping; hoping that we will meet that special someone, or at least we’ll meet someone. In the US, while unsuccessful, I at least understood what I was looking for and who was socially acceptable for me to date. High schools students and old hairy toothless smelly men were usually a no-go. Now that I have integrated into Nicaraguan culture and have become accustomed to the culture here, my whole dating world has been thrown into a volcano, spun around and spit back up. When it comes to dating Nicas, I have no idea which way is up. Here I actually considered dating an 18 year old boy (emphasis on the word boy). This is socially acceptable and even encouraged (18 plus of course). At least he was a working boy (a full time circus clown counts as a job…right?) Anyway, that was a short lived nothing that went absolutely nowhere- he, at the age of 18, was ready for children and I, on the slightly older end, was and still am not. So here is one example of my Nica man spectrum: a hot-bodied, long haired teenage angst-filled circus clown. The other end of the spectrum holds a few men of the more mature age group including a priest, a doctor and a homeless-looking man with one shoe. To be very clear, I did not date any of these viejos, nor did I actually date the 18 year old. Our interactions range from a fly by cat call (thrown while jumping up and down on one foot banging his other shoe on the side walk, his hair looking all kinds of crazy) to late night one-sided text messages to a request for a private English lesson. I unfortunately turned them all down. I will admit. I did go on one date that seemed to go well. Normal guy, good looking, nice, my age. He is a fantastic dancer, which is very attractive. We had fun…and then I got to know him. He is a Yankees fan, a Lakers fan and a Heat fan. As a born and raised Bostonian and huge sports addict, I was hugely offended by these likes. I knew it would never work out.
So here, you meet people at the local high school (stick to the teachers), at fish markets and at churches (he may be the one giving the sermon). While dating can be complicated, awkward and downright strange, it can be really fun and you will usually at least end up with some interesting stories. A lot of volunteers date Nicas and have great experiences. You have someone who knows Nicaragua to show you around, a constant person to practice your Spanish with and a romantic someone to share your time with. My recommendating for all of you readers: find someone in the middle of that spectrum with no more than 2 obvious teeth missing and is old enough to have been able to vote in the US for a couple of years. And if he tells you, “I love you baby chelita bonita” the first time you meet, you may want to keep looking. And if you need a wingwoman, call me up, because I’m in the matchmaking business.