Family Ties

As I close my eyes, I think of my family. I had no idea how much I would miss them. One of Peace Corps’ slogans is “(it’s) One of the toughest jobs you’ll ever love”. It is true. I really do love my life here- I love my job, I work with some really great people, have some good friends and am learning so much, but it can be difficult. The highs are so incredibly high and the lows are terribly low. Your highs and lows can come and go in a span of an hour or two. Never in my life had I ever woken up feeling so positive to stepping out of the shower, having washed away all of my positivity, leaving behind only dark negative thoughts. I’m not sure why this happens. I do want to reassure you that this is not something that happens very often, but it does happen. Not always being able to have direct, instantaneous contact with a friend or family member after of these extremes definitely makes it difficult. Living with Mom, I could come home and have her there to talk to or I would encounter my Dad on the bus ride home. I miss the small things-arriving home in JP after work to roommates with bottles of wine and smiles waiting for me; spending Sundays watching football with Mom and Scarlett followed by Youth Group and more football at Main St with sugar rimmed pumpkin beer and friends; checking out new parts of Boston with Dad, paid for by Groupons that he bought; and a impromptu sisters outing, even if it was just to Marshalls or to a movie. You honestly do not think about what your life would be like without someone there until they’re not (or at least not a close by kind of “there”). Peace Corps prepares you to learn Spanish, to give charlas, to speak in front large groups, to form youth groups and to adapt and integrate into Nicaraguan culture. I honestly do not know if there is a way to prepare for the longing for someone familiar that one can feel when they are not close by. It can be a tough job.